Lesson 1: Out with the Old

The first step in growing up (at least I believe it is) is to get rid of the old, childish things in your life, or find a new "grown-up" use for them. Take for example the couches I was talking about in my last post. The colors don't really go with anything, and they look like Jackson Pollock or a pre-schooler threw a bunch of laden paint brushes at them in a fit of rage (don't get me wrong, I love me some Jackson Pollock). My point is, after 15 years, they have served their purpose - holding up to kids using them as a springboard for basement olympic reenactments, a solid fort foundation, last minute sleeping accommodations, and hiding any type of stain imaginable.

Green couches, I think it's time we call it quits. We've had a good run - we've both aged well, but we've have grown apart these last few years. When I sit on you, I feel smothered and leave with a cramped shoulder and aching back. This is going to sound harsh, but I don't need that kind of pain in my life.

I'm not going to beat around the bush on this - I found someone new - someone who is firmer, solid and multipurpose. I mean, yes, you've served as a sleeping area, but he has an actual mattress. And a matching ottoman with storage space. I'm sorry but I've outgrown your inadequacy. I hope you can see it as I do, and it would be best if you moved out soon. He's moving in on Friday.

My 100th Window album is scratched. Lame.